Our bodies are always giving us signals. We just have to pay attention.
Piece Talks...
You know those times when you eat something that you know you "shouldn't" eat but you do anyway, most of the time without thinking, and you always feel terrible after eating it?
Well, here's something you might try next time you catch yourself about to eat compulsively...
Stop for a second, and ask me how I feel about eating what you're about to eat. One of the best ways to "ask" is by imagining how I'll feel after you've eaten it. I'll generally answer through feeling, which at first may be subtle and/or clouded over by what your mind and habits want, but over time, my answer will become more and more clear.
I'm always telling you how I feel, even when you aren't listening :-)
Love,
your stomach
You can sign up to receive weekly Piece Talks e-mails here:http://www.lovethewayyoulook.com/piecetalks.html
xoxo
Niki Svara
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label body image. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Friday, September 10, 2010
wanting change NOW
"But I want my body to change now!" Isn't this how we've all felt at times? Well, here's a Piece Talks message that speaks to this feeling:
Piece Talks...
When you want results, you want them now, right? Yet, let's say, for example, that you set a goal to lose 30 pounds and you wake up the next morning 30 pounds lighter... would you be happy? or would you be scared out of your mind, rushing to the hospital, because something MUST be wrong, you just lost 30 pounds over night?!
All change is a process- this goes for losing weight, or any other change you'd like to see, and time can truly be a gift to your peace of mind :-)
Can you think of anything better to do than enjoy the process?
Love,
your body
You can sign up to receive weekly Piece Talks e-mails here: http://www.lovethewayyoulook.com/piecetalks.html
xoxo
Niki Svara
Piece Talks...
When you want results, you want them now, right? Yet, let's say, for example, that you set a goal to lose 30 pounds and you wake up the next morning 30 pounds lighter... would you be happy? or would you be scared out of your mind, rushing to the hospital, because something MUST be wrong, you just lost 30 pounds over night?!
All change is a process- this goes for losing weight, or any other change you'd like to see, and time can truly be a gift to your peace of mind :-)
Can you think of anything better to do than enjoy the process?
Love,
your body
You can sign up to receive weekly Piece Talks e-mails here: http://www.lovethewayyoulook.com/piecetalks.html
xoxo
Niki Svara
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Take A Listen To My New Song...
...by clicking on the play button to the left of this screen
(just under "Take A Listen...")
I wrote this song, I Want The World To See, with love in my heart for every woman and man who has ever struggled with their weight or body image. I especially hope to inspire teenagers to love and accept themselves just the way they are.
Please feel free to let your friends and family know about my blog if you think they might like the song :-)
much love,
Niki Svara
I Want The World To See
Vocals: Niki Svara (http://www.lovethewayyoulook.com/)
Guitars: Stacey Evans
Arranged by Stacey Evans
Produced by Jimmy Hunter (http://www.jimmyhunter.com/)
(just under "Take A Listen...")
I wrote this song, I Want The World To See, with love in my heart for every woman and man who has ever struggled with their weight or body image. I especially hope to inspire teenagers to love and accept themselves just the way they are.
Please feel free to let your friends and family know about my blog if you think they might like the song :-)
much love,
Niki Svara
I Want The World To See
Vocals: Niki Svara (http://www.lovethewayyoulook.com/)
Guitars: Stacey Evans
Arranged by Stacey Evans
Produced by Jimmy Hunter (http://www.jimmyhunter.com/)
Friday, November 23, 2007
Aging gracefully
Check out the latest Q & A off the Love The Way You Look website…
Question:
Dear Niki,
I am 57 years old. Every time I look in the mirror and see this woman with glasses staring back at me, I reject her. Where is my beautiful, youthful self? How can I reclaim her? I see sagging knees in place of firm, muscular legs. I just don't love my aging body. I see my mother, not myself. What can I do to be more accepting of this time in my life?
I feel really stuck silently. I wouldn't tell anyone that this all matters to me, but it really does. I long to grow old gracefully. To be able to have natural, completely gray hair instead of coloring it. I feel trapped and just don't know how to begin viewing the real me with acceptance and love.
When I was younger, being beautiful was a significant aspect of my identity. Losing this gift has been very hard. Intellectually, I understand that all people go through this process. Emotionally, it is more difficult for me than I care to openly admit.
Any advice?
Eleni
Answer:
Dear Eleni,
As I read your e-mail, I felt my heart opening to your words. I could feel the sadness, the self-judgment, the disappointment, the resistance, and the silent feeling of being helplessly stuck. I also sense emotional self-preservation, as you keep your feelings to yourself, and this has most likely served you until now, because it often feels safer not to acknowledge uncomfortable feelings, especially in front of others. Yet, in order to move toward what you really long for- growing old "gracefully" and viewing the real you with love and acceptance- you may have to allow a degree of vulnerability.
Dealing with your feelings...
As you are experiencing, sometimes it takes a little longer for our emotions to catch up with what we intellectually know. Your intellect and your emotional self are like running partners, jogging through life. You are dear friends, even though you don't see eye to eye at times, and when one falls behind, the other waits up. Are you willing to find compassion within your heart as you "wait" for the emotional part of you that has fallen behind? Can you reassure yourself that, even though it doesn't feel good, it's okay to feel upset about the changes with your body? Your emotional self will catch up, and will do so even faster if you look lovingly at it without judgment, but with an encouraging smile.
Is there anyone in your life that you might feel comfortable confiding in? Finding someone to talk to will help you begin to release some of the trapped feeling you mentioned. Give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to be supported by people who love you... chances are you know someone who is going through something similar, and while you are getting support, you might be able to be a support to others, which I think can also be an integral part in any healing process.
Looking at the beliefs behind your feelings...
From my experience and observation, our feelings are largely caused by our underlying beliefs about things. Our beliefs generally determine what thoughts we think, and what we choose to say and do. Based on the thoughts you've written in your e-mail, it seems as though these are some of the beliefs you have, that are causing you unhappy feelings:
"Being beautiful looks a certain way."
"Beauty is youthful."
"I am no longer beautiful because I am no longer youthful."
"I don't know how to feel beautiful again."
"My aging body is unattractive."
"I can't control what's happening to my body, I'm stuck and trapped."
"I have to hide my feelings from people."
"I am not growing old gracefully."
"I've lost my gift that has given me worth and self-definition."
Maybe take some time adding to this list, or taking away anything you feel doesn't apply to you. Getting really clear on what your underlying beliefs are will help you to change them. When all the cards are on the table, you know what you're working with.
The beliefs I've listed here don't feel so good. Are you open to shifting some of these beliefs into new and empowering ones that make you feel good? For example, "I don't know how to feel beautiful again" can be turned into, "I'm learning how to feel beautiful as my body changes, and I am patient with myself during this process." Write a list of new beliefs that feel really good, and believable to you, and remind yourself of them every day, continuing to have compassion for your emotional self while it catches up with your intellect.
Redefining your sense of beauty...
You've said that when you were younger, being beautiful was a significant part of your identity. Changes in identity can be so difficult to make, consciously, never mind a change that is occurring beyond your control. The power you do have is in moving with the changes...
Feeling beautiful, attractive, sensual and sexy doesn't stop because you reach a certain age. Wanting affection and recognition doesn't stop either, but I can see how easy it is to put those feelings away, when the large part of society says you now have a different role to play, and designates "attractive" to the wrinkle-free youth.
Beauty, sexiness, attraction, vitality, sensuality, feeling youthful, etc... these are not dependent on your physical appearance... hold on to these as qualities of yourself that create good feelings within you, and let yourself feel them.
Your body is doing what it naturally does over time. It doesn't know that it's any less beautiful. It only is "less beautiful" if you think it is. This is your chance to completely redefine beauty, for yourself, and for other aging women. What will you decide to see as beautiful? Start with aspects of your being, like "loving" and "humorous." Then move to different aspects of your physical self, such as your face and your smile. Begin to see the changes you've disliked in a new way... as the story of your life in its glorious process of ever-becoming even more beautiful.
As I like to say, our beauty is a constant, it's the way we feel about ourselves that varies. Give yourself permission to Feel Beautiful. You can start by letting your hair be its gorgeous, natural gray. You put the shine in it.
with much love,
Niki
Question:
Dear Niki,
I am 57 years old. Every time I look in the mirror and see this woman with glasses staring back at me, I reject her. Where is my beautiful, youthful self? How can I reclaim her? I see sagging knees in place of firm, muscular legs. I just don't love my aging body. I see my mother, not myself. What can I do to be more accepting of this time in my life?
I feel really stuck silently. I wouldn't tell anyone that this all matters to me, but it really does. I long to grow old gracefully. To be able to have natural, completely gray hair instead of coloring it. I feel trapped and just don't know how to begin viewing the real me with acceptance and love.
When I was younger, being beautiful was a significant aspect of my identity. Losing this gift has been very hard. Intellectually, I understand that all people go through this process. Emotionally, it is more difficult for me than I care to openly admit.
Any advice?
Eleni
Answer:
Dear Eleni,
As I read your e-mail, I felt my heart opening to your words. I could feel the sadness, the self-judgment, the disappointment, the resistance, and the silent feeling of being helplessly stuck. I also sense emotional self-preservation, as you keep your feelings to yourself, and this has most likely served you until now, because it often feels safer not to acknowledge uncomfortable feelings, especially in front of others. Yet, in order to move toward what you really long for- growing old "gracefully" and viewing the real you with love and acceptance- you may have to allow a degree of vulnerability.
Dealing with your feelings...
As you are experiencing, sometimes it takes a little longer for our emotions to catch up with what we intellectually know. Your intellect and your emotional self are like running partners, jogging through life. You are dear friends, even though you don't see eye to eye at times, and when one falls behind, the other waits up. Are you willing to find compassion within your heart as you "wait" for the emotional part of you that has fallen behind? Can you reassure yourself that, even though it doesn't feel good, it's okay to feel upset about the changes with your body? Your emotional self will catch up, and will do so even faster if you look lovingly at it without judgment, but with an encouraging smile.
Is there anyone in your life that you might feel comfortable confiding in? Finding someone to talk to will help you begin to release some of the trapped feeling you mentioned. Give yourself the gift of allowing yourself to be supported by people who love you... chances are you know someone who is going through something similar, and while you are getting support, you might be able to be a support to others, which I think can also be an integral part in any healing process.
Looking at the beliefs behind your feelings...
From my experience and observation, our feelings are largely caused by our underlying beliefs about things. Our beliefs generally determine what thoughts we think, and what we choose to say and do. Based on the thoughts you've written in your e-mail, it seems as though these are some of the beliefs you have, that are causing you unhappy feelings:
"Being beautiful looks a certain way."
"Beauty is youthful."
"I am no longer beautiful because I am no longer youthful."
"I don't know how to feel beautiful again."
"My aging body is unattractive."
"I can't control what's happening to my body, I'm stuck and trapped."
"I have to hide my feelings from people."
"I am not growing old gracefully."
"I've lost my gift that has given me worth and self-definition."
Maybe take some time adding to this list, or taking away anything you feel doesn't apply to you. Getting really clear on what your underlying beliefs are will help you to change them. When all the cards are on the table, you know what you're working with.
The beliefs I've listed here don't feel so good. Are you open to shifting some of these beliefs into new and empowering ones that make you feel good? For example, "I don't know how to feel beautiful again" can be turned into, "I'm learning how to feel beautiful as my body changes, and I am patient with myself during this process." Write a list of new beliefs that feel really good, and believable to you, and remind yourself of them every day, continuing to have compassion for your emotional self while it catches up with your intellect.
Redefining your sense of beauty...
You've said that when you were younger, being beautiful was a significant part of your identity. Changes in identity can be so difficult to make, consciously, never mind a change that is occurring beyond your control. The power you do have is in moving with the changes...
Feeling beautiful, attractive, sensual and sexy doesn't stop because you reach a certain age. Wanting affection and recognition doesn't stop either, but I can see how easy it is to put those feelings away, when the large part of society says you now have a different role to play, and designates "attractive" to the wrinkle-free youth.
Beauty, sexiness, attraction, vitality, sensuality, feeling youthful, etc... these are not dependent on your physical appearance... hold on to these as qualities of yourself that create good feelings within you, and let yourself feel them.
Your body is doing what it naturally does over time. It doesn't know that it's any less beautiful. It only is "less beautiful" if you think it is. This is your chance to completely redefine beauty, for yourself, and for other aging women. What will you decide to see as beautiful? Start with aspects of your being, like "loving" and "humorous." Then move to different aspects of your physical self, such as your face and your smile. Begin to see the changes you've disliked in a new way... as the story of your life in its glorious process of ever-becoming even more beautiful.
As I like to say, our beauty is a constant, it's the way we feel about ourselves that varies. Give yourself permission to Feel Beautiful. You can start by letting your hair be its gorgeous, natural gray. You put the shine in it.
with much love,
Niki
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